Groundhog Day: Living for What Truly Matters

Phil: What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?
Ralph: That about sums it up for me.

You are probably familiar with the storyline, but let me recap it for you:  Phil, an arrogant weatherman, travels to a small town to do a feature on the groundhog’s shadow, gets stuck in the town for the night due to a blizzard that he failed to predict, and goes to bed, only to discover that when he awakens in the morning, it is once again February 2^nd.  He is made to relive the same day over and over again, giving him the torture, the license, and finally the freedom to live life however he pleases with no repercussions to follow in the future.  He is arrested, attempts to seduce his producer, Rita, and even tries to kill himself on multiple occasions, but no matter what he does during the day, he once again awakens to his alarm on February 2^nd. 

After having pursued selfish pleasures that failed to satisfy, Phil gradually begins to seek to help those in the small town, especially a homeless man, and in the process discovers that he has fallen in love with Rita. He lives with charity and kindness for those around him.  In the end Rita falls in love with him too, and he awakens to the joy of his alarm on February 3^rd.

Clint and I have been discussing showing the movie to his high school Bible classes to lay the framework for the year, posing the questions: “What is virtue?” and “What is happiness?”  We see in Groundhog Day that Phil discovers the meaninglessness and futility of pursuing his selfish passions.  He can have whatever he wants and do anything, regardless of the law, but he does not find true satisfaction in any of these pursuits.  It is only when he puts the needs and desires of others above his own, that he finds true happiness and a way of escape from the endless repetition of February 2^nd.

Though you have not been forced to relive the same day over and over again, but perhaps every day seems to blend into the next.  Perhaps you feel without purpose or direction.  Perhaps it all seems pointless and monotonous, an unending journey to nowhere.  Or maybe it is not that extreme, but you feel stuck or you are just plain tired.  This film pushes the viewer to consider what truly matters in life.  For what are you living?  Why do you get up every morning?  Are you rolling out of bed simply desiring to fulfill your own pleasures and get your way, or do you rise seeking to love others, pursue the truth, and delight in beauty? 

I think most of us would reply with the latter when the choices are so clearly stated, but what about the little things of life?  What about in the daily grind when you must decide between relaxing for a few more minutes in front of the tv or spending time in prayer?  What about giving a half-hearted effort on that project you have been putting off or devoting all your time and talent to its completion?  What about simply sitting in the pew at church or getting up an hour early and volunteering to serve in the children’s ministry?

Life is composed of these little decisions, the seemingly harmless laziness or the snide remark made under your breath.  It is of these seemingly harmless choices our habits are formed.  How we spend our minutes and hours each day, and what we prioritize will come to define us in the end.

May we choose to pursue virtue and true happiness in the everyday things of life.  May the Lord give us grace each morning that we might honor His name and serve Him faithfully.

"Beep, Beep!"

The last two weeks I have been working on a side project at work for an upcoming staff meeting in which all my co-workers were asked, among other things, “Who was your favorite cartoon character as a child?”  It has been fun to read the results, and has led me to ponder what it is about these characters that make children drawn to them. 

My favorite character as a child was The Road Runner.  I liked him predominantly for his speed (I ran track in elementary school), as well as his intelligence, his pretty purple feathers, and that classic “Beep, Beep!”  No matter how hard Wile E. Coyote tried every day to dupe the bird with wild contraptions and complex plans, with but a little common sense and speed (okay and inconsistent rules of the cartoon universe), Road Runner was always successful at escaping, leaving Wile E. to experience the pain of the trap himself.

In our evening Bible readings over the past few days, Clint and I have been contemplating the story of Esther, the beautiful Jewess who first wins the king’s hand in marriage and then saves her people from destruction.  Her greatest qualities perhaps were her beauty, her courage, and her humility.  She obediently followed the advice of her uncle, Mordecai, and was willing to lose her life in an effort to save her people.  Perhaps the most famously quoted verse in the book is: “For such a time as this,” referring to the Providential appointment of Esther as queen in order to rescue the Jewish nation. 

As the story unwinds, Haman, a high ranking official, parades through the city and is sorely offended when Mordecai refuses to bow to him, stating that he bows to God alone.  After complex schemes and shady dealings, Haman is invited to an exclusive feast with the king and queen.  Overjoyed with the VIP treatment, Haman decides to make his move.  In the end, however, Haman who had been planning revenge on Mordecai, ends up, similarly to Wile E., with a death sentence, hanging from the very gallows he meant for Mordecai.  And we discover in the following chapter that his 10 sons have the same fate, while the Jewish people are saved.

What an inspiration Esther is of a woman who bravely faces her calling and steps into the role that God has given her to play!  Being named the most beautiful and desirable woman in the land does not go to her head.  Rather, Esther humbly submits to Mordecai and continues to identify with and protect her people.  Oh to have the courage to step into the court of the king, facing certain death, and instead to find life and joy.  The God of Israel protects her and in turn protects her entire nation through her.

May we too be found faithful in the calling that God has placed on our lives and may we walk with courage into the unknown.

Reflection:  Based on their cartoon character choices, others in the office appear to admire a good sense of humor, bravery, the defense of the innocent, as well as general cuteness.  Who was your favorite cartoon character and what did you admire about him or her?

Breakin' a Sweat

My sweaty hands grip the metal and all I can do is keep chanting, “Just a little further.  Just a little further...”

28:00.  The treadmill beeps and my first run at the gym in, oh probably 5 years, is finally over.

“Push the cool down button,” Clint instructs, reaching across the machine to show me where the little blue button is.

“Phew!  I’m gonna be sore tomorrow!  It’s not exactly a walk in the park!”

You see I like to think of myself as a lover of nature, an outdoor exerciser, not a gym rat.  I prefer going for an afternoon stroll in the park or playing ultimate Frisbee with friends, but I must admit that I have not been disciplined in exercise for at least the last 6 months.  I like to think that I can muster enough motivation and accountability on my own to maintain an exercise routine; however, when I am honest with myself, I realize that I’d much rather chill on a Monday evening than do aerobic activity.  The motivation will usually come in spurts, but without a buddy to keep me accountable and motivated, I’m much more likely to daintily sit and read at Starbucks for the evening, than to spend an hour sweating at the gym.

For the past few weeks, however, Clint has been talking to me about a gym membership.  We have discussed the need for good health and that regular exercise is a major component of maintaining a healthy lifestyle.  Additionally, having been married for just over 2 weeks, we are seeking to establish good patterns and create habits that will keep us healthy and happy for years to come.  Together we will work to reach our goals and to maintain consistency.  So we’re still a little idealistic about the whole gym thing now, but the real test will come in October or November when the school year is underway and our calendar is filling up.  That’s why we need to start now and we need to be disciplined and make our health a priority.  By the grace of God and each other’s encouragement, we can do it!

Thus, with a 7-day guest pass on the clipboard, I found myself panting and sweating at our local Bally’s on Monday evening, and honestly I kind of liked it.  I mean I certainly did not want to go to the gym after a long day at the office, but once I was jogging and watching the calories burn, I actually starting feeling pretty good.  Maybe breaking a sweat at the gym isn’t so bad after all!  I think I might be able to get used to this.  Of course, lucky for me, I have a gym partner, my husband, and together we will find the motivation, and hopefully the joy, of exercising and being healthy. 

So say a prayer for us and the next time you see us, ask when we were last at the gym.  Of course, since we care about your health too, we just might return the favor…

Hello world! My name is Mrs. Perry and I’m delighted to meet you!

Hello world!  My name is Mrs. Perry and I’m delighted to meet you!  Of course, if you ask the federal government it is not exactly official yet (that’s a whole different animal), but for all intents and purposes, I am now Mrs. Victoria Perry. *Pure bliss!!*

What a joy it is to be his bride, his beloved, the apple of his eye!  Now if you are a faithful reader, you know that wedding planning has certainly been stressful and overwhelming at times, but I can honestly say that our wedding was fabulous!  It is crazy how you can sweat all the small stuff along the way, even an hour before the ceremony, but the minute they opened the doors of the church and I saw Clint at the end of the aisle waiting for me, all of my worries about logistics simply melted away.  The time had finally come to be united with my love in the sacrament of marriage and I simply could not stop smiling!  He looked so dashing in his tuxedo and the pure joy in his face, not sure if he should smile or cry, was the very best expression of love that I had ever seen.  As I told him, I kept telling myself to walk slowly, but in my heart, I was running down the aisle to him.

Clint and I thoroughly enjoyed the wedding festivities (bachelor and bachelorette parties were amazing, rehearsal dinner was a relaxing and intimate time, the wedding ceremony was beautiful and sacred, the reception was the height of joyous celebration with those we love, and the honeymoon, staying for a week in a little cabin in Big Sur and exploring the surrounding areas of Monterey and Carmel, proved to be both a refreshing getaway and a thrilling adventure.  With all these major events behind us, memories to last a lifetime, and beautiful pictures being uploaded which captured our joy, I must say, that it is nice to be finally settling into our first place: opening wedding gifts, unloading boxes, assembling furniture, arranging pictures, cooking dinners together, and just being newly weds.

We would like to extend a heartfelt thank you to all of you who have supported us through this journey to the altar (personalized thank you notes will come eventually, I promise), and ask that you please continue to lift us up in prayer, as we discover what it truly means to be one.  As all married couples realize, it is quite a paradigm shift to move from independence to considering your spouse’s needs and desires above your own, to see possessions as not mine or yours, but ours, and to create a loving atmosphere of open, honest, uplifting, and God-honoring communication.

Now a little message to all of my friends who are brides to be: hang in there.  Enjoy the little joys along the journey!  You only have one wedding, so delight!  Take a break once in a while and just enjoy being with your love.  The planning will end and life will eventually settle down and then you’ll be married!!  Trust your family and friends and lean on them for support.  They are genuinely excited for you and want to help in anyway that they can.  Stop to consider the great gift of love that God has mercifully given to you both, and rejoice in His abundant provision!  Stare into the eyes of your beloved and feel the smile begin to form on your lips!

As many have reminded me, the wedding is only the beginning – the marriage is where the true adventure begins.  So here’s to our new adventure as the Perrys!  We’re excited to share the journey with you!!

Bears all things

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.  It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”

                                                ~1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a

11 days ladies and gentlemen!   Oh my goodness!!!

Well, I must admit that I had a bit of a melt down last week when I realized how much I had left to do in such a short amount of time, but my family came to the rescue.  We spent hours walking up and down the aisles of the local craft stores looking at candles, ribbon, vases, picture frames, and much, much more.  With their aid, I made great strides this weekend and now I have a renewed sense of joy and excitement for the big day!  They transformed the overwhelming To-Do list into an exciting adventure. 

With that being said, I learned a valuable lesson this week.  You see my dear Clint is currently in Notre Dame working on his masters degree and impressing the professors with his thoughtful theological reflections.  I am so very proud of him and excited to see him reaching his dreams, our dreams.  In the meanwhile, I am here in Southern California, alone.  However, this weekend I learned that even when Clint is gone, I am not, in fact, alone.  I am surrounded by a loving family and friends who are excited to help ease the burden.  Bearing each others’ burdens is love.  I have always avoided confessing my weaknesses to others partially out of pride and a sense of independence, but also from a desire to not weigh others down with my problems.  This weekend confirmed again that in admitting my limitations and asking for help, I am actually opening myself to receive love, and those who truly love me do not see it as an imposition at all.  In fact, they quite enjoy being needed and feeling like they have contributed to reaching my dream.  Of course, I am delighted that my love will be returning in 3 short days.  Yippee!!!

11 days until the wedding.  Wow!  I feel so very blessed that my dear Clint saw me amidst the crowd and is as overjoyed as me to go to the altar and spend our lives together.  I always dreamed of my wedding day, but I never imagined that it would ever be so close – less than 2 weeks away!  I still cannot believe it!  Oh my goodness!!!

Thank you for your prayers thus far, and please continue to remember us before the Father in the days ahead.  We so very much look forward to celebrating with you!!

Dance Lessons: One Month Count Down!!!

"When you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance"
           ~made famous by Lee Ann Womack

or perhaps you prefer

"Just dance...
Dance, dance, just, j-j-just dance"
            ~made famous by Lady Gaga


Friday afternoon June 17, 2011.  Wow!  Less than 1 month until the wedding!  So much has happened in the past month: dress fittings, the school play and promotion ceremony for Clint’s junior highers, the NBA finals where the Mavericks won the championship, our engagement picture photo shoot, bbqs, my 3 year anniversary at ECCU, a camping and bungee jumping trip (Clint and the boys), a local bridal shower (me and the girls), a museum and wine tasting outing, a wedding shower in my hometown, signing the lease to our new studio and getting our furniture, and just last night our first dance lesson.  Did I mention that was just our last month?  Yep.  Pretty crazy!

I must admit that as the wedding is getting closer, I feel more excitement, sentimentality, and pressure to have everything in order, so I’m afraid I had a little “bridezilla” moment yesterday.  Now please understand that I am generally not very outspoken or demanding, but as my opinions have been solicited for the past five months for just about everything, I have discovered that I have a lot more expectations, and thus opinions, concerning our big day than I thought.  During a great conversation last night with our reception MC, I realized that the wedding day is not simply a list of events to check off, but a series of special moments, of precious memories to last a lifetime.  I want to be fully present and experience the great delight, to allow myself the freedom to be beaming with smiles or to shed a tear, to rejoice with my love and our family and friends and not to worry about whether the platters are lined up perfectly.  Every bride with whom I have spoken has told me to not stress about the details on the wedding day, but to have a great time.  I take it that they wish they had not stressed so much over minor details, so it is my goal to take their advice.

Excellence is very important to me and I want to put forth the effort to plan a great event, but at the same time, I want to recognize that I cannot control all the factors and that very fact will actually make it an organic and a truly human day.  By this I mean that I do not want a superficially manufactured event, all fake happy smiles and a perfectly designed everything.  Our wedding should be a beautiful day, while remaining open to the uniqueness and spontaneity of real life.  The day will have life and vitality, like the difference between listening to a recording and attending a concert– it will breathe.  It is a once in a lifetime experience where all in attendance are engaged and participate, thus the community creates an experience that can never be repeated.

Take our dance for example.  In our dance lessons last night we told the instructor that we wanted to learn some steps, but not to create a choreographed number.  Clint ought to have the freedom to lead as he feels in the moment, not being overly pressured to remember what comes next and force a step that does not flow naturally.  We want to be prepared, but flexible.  If you know me this might sound a bit humorous, as I tend to be a very scheduled and regimented kind of girl, but Clint so often eases my mind and helps me to feel confident that all will be well. 

In conclusion, say a prayer for me if you have a moment in the next month that we will do all that is necessary to plan and be prepared, but that we will fully embrace the moment and enjoy the dance!

One Bended Knee: Combating 'Mad Dash' Syndrome

“Tomorrow I plan to work, work, from early until late.  In fact I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer.”

                                    ~Martin Luther

It’s Monday morning and I am cutting it close again.  Grabbing my purse off the counter, I dump some Honey Bunches of Oats into a coffee mug and pour chocolate soy milk on top, then snatch a spoon from the drying rack and run out the door.  As I drive down Imperial Highway, I pause at each stoplight to munch on my cereal, while trying to precariously balance a bouquet of sunflowers on my lap.  I glance longingly at the picture of a latte on the Starbucks sign as I pass, then suddenly slam on my breaks as the light turns yellow.  Startled, I cautiously drive the last couple of blocks, and pull into the parking lot of my office building.  Turning off the engine I glance at the dashboard – 7:52 A.M.  ‘Late again,’ I sigh to myself.  I pull out my Book of Common Prayer and flip to the Psalms, pausing five minutes to read a couple before jumping out of the car and charging off to the time clock to swipe my badge by 8:00. 

Even with all that is going on I always seem to pull it together and make it to work on time, which is essential, but my goal is always to arrive in the parking lot around 7:40, so that I will have 20 minutes for prayer before I start work.  Unfortunately, this chaotic scene of my juggling act and mad dash to the office has been happening too frequently of late.  I could blame it on too little sleep, quite a bit of stress, so very much change… Yet why is it so easy for me to be disciplined in my punctuality to work, but then to struggle so much with finding time to pray?  Why is it that in the times when I need more prayer, I seem to make less time for it?

In church yesterday, Fr. Scarlett reminded us that one of the ways we display our faith in Jesus is through consistent prayer.  I am generally good at prioritizing in order to accomplish my goals, but I am afraid that becoming a consistent and habitual prayer warrior has not been on the top of my list.  As I continue to reflect on the importance of prayer, I am realizing that although it seems logical that I will have less time for everything else if I set aside time to pray, I am finding that the opposite is in fact true.  Prayer realigns my focus on what really matters.  It deepens my trust in God to provide for all my needs, and lifts my spirits.  Just a few minutes in prayer can radically reshape the course of a day, a week, and ultimately a life.

Rather than a vague “I want to make prayer a priority this week”, I need to literally carve out time for prayer.  Like everything else that I want to get done, at least for now, I need to put it on the calendar.  I need to whisper my prayers for strength throughout the day, taking every thought captive, and then set aside some extended time to spend with Him.  I have heard it said that it is impossible to have a relationship with someone if you never spend time with them. I certainly know this to be true, so instead of thinking about it as “making prayer a priority”, I need to think about it as “making God a priority”.  Now that certainly sounds essential!

Reflection:  How do you make God, specifically through time in prayer, a priority in your life?