"When you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance"
~made famous by Lee Ann Womack
or perhaps you prefer
Dance, dance, just, j-j-just dance"
~made famous by Lady Gaga
Friday afternoon June 17, 2011. Wow! Less than 1 month until the wedding! So much has happened in the past month: dress fittings, the school play and promotion ceremony for Clint’s junior highers, the NBA finals where the Mavericks won the championship, our engagement picture photo shoot, bbqs, my 3 year anniversary at ECCU, a camping and bungee jumping trip (Clint and the boys), a local bridal shower (me and the girls), a museum and wine tasting outing, a wedding shower in my hometown, signing the lease to our new studio and getting our furniture, and just last night our first dance lesson. Did I mention that was just our last month? Yep. Pretty crazy!
I must admit that as the wedding is getting closer, I feel more excitement, sentimentality, and pressure to have everything in order, so I’m afraid I had a little “bridezilla” moment yesterday. Now please understand that I am generally not very outspoken or demanding, but as my opinions have been solicited for the past five months for just about everything, I have discovered that I have a lot more expectations, and thus opinions, concerning our big day than I thought. During a great conversation last night with our reception MC, I realized that the wedding day is not simply a list of events to check off, but a series of special moments, of precious memories to last a lifetime. I want to be fully present and experience the great delight, to allow myself the freedom to be beaming with smiles or to shed a tear, to rejoice with my love and our family and friends and not to worry about whether the platters are lined up perfectly. Every bride with whom I have spoken has told me to not stress about the details on the wedding day, but to have a great time. I take it that they wish they had not stressed so much over minor details, so it is my goal to take their advice.
Excellence is very important to me and I want to put forth the effort to plan a great event, but at the same time, I want to recognize that I cannot control all the factors and that very fact will actually make it an organic and a truly human day. By this I mean that I do not want a superficially manufactured event, all fake happy smiles and a perfectly designed everything. Our wedding should be a beautiful day, while remaining open to the uniqueness and spontaneity of real life. The day will have life and vitality, like the difference between listening to a recording and attending a concert– it will breathe. It is a once in a lifetime experience where all in attendance are engaged and participate, thus the community creates an experience that can never be repeated.
Take our dance for example. In our dance lessons last night we told the instructor that we wanted to learn some steps, but not to create a choreographed number. Clint ought to have the freedom to lead as he feels in the moment, not being overly pressured to remember what comes next and force a step that does not flow naturally. We want to be prepared, but flexible. If you know me this might sound a bit humorous, as I tend to be a very scheduled and regimented kind of girl, but Clint so often eases my mind and helps me to feel confident that all will be well.
In conclusion, say a prayer for me if you have a moment in the next month that we will do all that is necessary to plan and be prepared, but that we will fully embrace the moment and enjoy the dance!