And so it begins - Lent 2013

I’ll begin by giving away the ending – By God's strength I did not eat the cookie.

*****

My initial response to the idea of Lent is generally, “Oh that sounds like a profitable exercise. I’ll lose some weight and start some healthy habits…Wait, that sounds like a bummer!” This year was no different. Strangely I had been sort of looking forward to Lent beginning – simplifying life, having more quiet time, eating less and exercising more. That is until yesterday when I realized that I would not be able to eat my favorite treats, so I proceeded to eat a bite of everything that I would miss for the next 40 days including meats, sweets and drinks.

With the sunrise on this Ash Wednesday morning, the Lenten fast began. It seemed quite an ordinary day besides the growling of my stomach. “This whole Lent thing will be a piece of cake!” I thought. “I’m a veteran.”

At work we had our weekly staff meeting, and then were called into a conference room to celebrate the completion of a year-long project. The celebration was nice and encouraging until they passed out cute, chocolaty, sugar cookies – our little treasure troves. Now it might not sound appealing to you, and sugar cookies are far from my favorite dessert, but it certainly looked good in its little plastic wrapper.

I sat there holding my cookie and staring at its glittering golden sprinkles. “Surely it would be okay if I ate this cookie. I definitely earned it by my contribution to the project. It is mine. If it is a gift, isn’t it okay? What could one cookie matter? Who makes up the rules anyway? Aren’t they a bit arbitrary? You don’t have to tell anyone at church. You could frame it that everyone was eating their cookies and it would be ungracious to decline the offer…” The thoughts, excuses, and possible schemes swirled in my mind, as I walked back to my desk.

Statement of Intent

That's right. Four years after graduating college, I am hoping to go back in order to pursue my MBA. I am currently in the process of applying to Concordia University, and as with all graduate school applications, I was asked to provide a statement of intent – “Why do you want to attend school at Concordia? What do you plan to do with your advanced degree? Explain how this new academic program will contribute to your career goals.” Thus, I began a journey of prayer, Bible reading, and silence, as I asked God to direct my path, to show me if this is what He has for me, and to gain a vision of my vocation. He met me in this place of searching just as He promises in Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."

Last Friday I sat on a bench in the courtyard at the San Juan Capistrano Mission, reflecting on the lifework of those courageous priests. Thinking of the Christians who have faithfully served the Lord for the past two millennia and further back into our Jewish heritage, I asked to be given a vision of what it means to be a Christian woman and a business woman. In His loving kindness He brought Proverbs 31 to mind (you should pause to read it if it has been awhile: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2031:10-31&version=ESV ). I was captured by the beauty of this image and how it brought together the competing viewpoints that I was entertaining of a Christian woman as gentle and kind while a business woman was strong and assertive. In these verses I found my calling: I long to be a virtuous woman - a woman who tenderly cares for your family, works diligently and wisely, generously gives to the poor, and seeks to honor the Lord in all that she does.

Well, without giving too much more away, here is my statement of intent for your reading pleasure (safely under the 500 word count maximum at a smooth 494):

The Lord has given me a passion to see the Kingdom of God grow, both through the ministry of the church and in the marketplace. Since graduating from Biola University four years ago, I have gained experience at ECCU (Evangelical Christian Credit Union in Brea, CA) working with churches, Christian schools, and non-profit ministries through banking operations and loan servicing. It is my desire to continually grow in effectiveness, as I pursue excellence coupled with efficiency in my current position as a Quality Control Specialist. In the days ahead I would like to move into a management position where I could seek continued enhancements to my unit, and be able to invest in staff, mentoring them to maximize their potential. Eventually it is my dream to work for a non-profit, particularly because they do so much good, but have so few resources. I currently volunteer as a child advocate for Compassion International, so I would love to help shape the future of that ministry. Additionally, I have a passion for museums, so it would be exciting to work as a business consultant for a struggling museum, striving to increase their effectiveness and sustainability. Finally, it is a dream of mine to partner with my husband, who is a high school teacher, in order to start a classical Christian school at our church in Newport Beach. Wherever the Lord leads, I want to be equipped for the journey.

During a recent informational meeting I was impressed by the caliber of professors and students who are drawn to this university, and I would love to be a part of what God is doing in the business community of Orange County through this school and its alumni. I have a few years of business experience now and with a proven track record, I will continue to grow and progress over time, but the MBA program at Concordia University would equip me with unique tools to be more effective, as I seek to grow in knowledge and experience beyond my present capacity. At Concordia I would be challenged and given the opportunity to explore aspects of business like marketing and financing that I do not encounter every day, and to embrace my calling as a business woman. I am particularly fascinated by the Public Policy emphasis, as it would unite my passion for history, fascination with government, and exposure to regulations, federal legislation, and legal documentation in the banking industry.

Ultimately, it is my desire to be a woman of virtue, as described in Proverbs 31 – a woman who tenderly cares for her family, works diligently and wisely, generously gives to the poor, and seeks to honor the Lord in all that she does. For the past few years I have debated and prayed, asking the Lord to direct my path. I genuinely believe that the MBA program at Concordia University is my next step on this journey to grow in grace and truth both professionally and personally.

I appreciate your prayers as I prepare for classes to begin and more fully embrace my calling. May the Lord bless you and direct your steps as you seek His face.

One Year Later...Our First Anniversary

Last Monday we celebrated our first wedding anniversary. Wow! While engaged it seemed like the wedding day would never come, and now it has come and gone, and here we are a year later, hand in hand.

It has been quite a year! When I look at what we did just in 2011, I laugh to think that we had no idea what we were really getting ourselves into, and then I smile at the delightful surprise and precious gift that God has given to me in my dear Clint.

Our first place was a cute, but sometimes cramped, studio apartment in Anaheim. It proved to be our testing grounds for this first year, as well as our little abode, our hiding place. In reflection, I think the biggest lessons of this first year for me have been about communication, vulnerability, and trust.

Moving: Clinging to God's Promises

Moving. Ugh. It happens to all of us – some more often than others. Growing up my dad was in the Navy, so we moved every three to five years. We were the “lucky” ones who lived mostly on the same coast, but no matter the distance or the noble cause, it is hard for a second grader to understand the goodness of leaving her home, best friends, church, school, and all that she knows because Dad has to report to a new boss. Perhaps I still have some unresolved issues from my childhood trauma, but I encourage you to honor the servicemen and women you know, for they and their families have sacrificed quite a bit for the freedom that we all enjoy in this land.

Praying As Our Fathers: The Book of Common Prayer

*This morning I led the devotional time for my department at work.  Below is what I shared:

I have found that learning to pray is one of the hardest aspects of the Christian life.  Scripture exhorts us to pray, but what do we say?  How do we maintain a balance in our approach between the amiable sentiment of “What a Friend We Have in Jesus” and the sobering “A Mighty Fortress Is Our God,” both talking to a trusted friend and standing before the throne addressing our almighty king?  The disciples themselves struggled with prayer, and asked Jesus for lessons in how to pray, for in that context of the Gospels is the Lord’s Prayer recorded.

Over the years I have attended many seminars and Sunday school classes on prayer, with advice ranging from “follow these five helpful tips to improve your prayer life,” to “just pray as the Spirit leads.”  Many times I have struggled praying consistently and finding motivation to pray for extended periods of time because I feel like I do not know what to say.  When I do pray, it can be heavily laden with my emotions at the moment such as bemoaning my overwhelming problems, without always clearly clinging to the truth of Scripture in faith.  In the midst of this struggle to find a balance between expressing how I feel to my Father and seeking for my will and desires to become more aligned with those of my Lord, I found a little book, written five hundred years ago by devout clergy and drawing on centuries of the Christian tradition, which has radically changed the way that I approach prayer.  It has brought a new consistency in my daily prayer.  This book does not replace spontaneous prayer, but it has brought a balance to my extended daily prayer life, by equipping me with a language and structure for my prayers.  It has encouraged me to daily confront my sinfulness and to truly be thankful for the abundant redemption that we have in Christ.  It is called The Book of Common Prayer.

A Phone Call

“Hello?” I answered the phone confidently.

“Yes, hello.  Is this Victoria Wade?” the masculine voice asked on the other line.

“Yes, that’s me,” I replied cheerfully.

“Excellent.  How are you today?” he asked.

‘Should I say that I’m great or that it depends on how this interview goes?’ I thought.  I settled for the standard, “I’m good. And you?”

“Excellent.  So why are you interested in joining the Torrey Honors Institute?” the Director asked, jumping through the formalities and to the heart of the conversation.

Flannelgraph Faith

It was a day like every other day, a night like every Wednesday night, yet heaven reached down to earth that day – January 19, 1994. 

I was a giddy eight year old attending my local AWANA club with my Bible memory book in hand and my little red Sparky vest ironed and buttoned neatly, bedecked with all the crowns and jewels that I had earned over the previous two years.  In fact, I had just turned eight two weeks before, and my dad was to turn thirty-seven the very next day.  Even so, the evening had been like many others.  I arrived just before 6 o’clock and played with my friends until the whistle blew.  I had recited the Bible verses to my leader, Mrs. Campbell, which I had memorized the previous week.  Now I sat eagerly, awaiting the beginning of “Council Time," as we called it.

Mrs. Peggy, as she insisted on being called, rather than Mrs. Berry, was like a grandmother to all of us.  She was our favorite leader, and it was her time to share the lesson tonight.  We cheerfully heard the news and quieted down, sitting up straight with our legs crossed.  We were arranged on colored strips of Velcro by on our color team.  I sat on the blue line, hands folded, as Mrs. Peggy approached the front of room.  She smiled and greeted us, encouraging us to jump up and join her in singing “Father Abraham.”  The entire room echoed, as we sang as loudly as we could, then as softly as we could, left arm and right foot in, turning around, and finally sitting down, laughing and smiling.  That’s when she retrieved the felt board from behind the podium and propped it up beside her stool.

Rest for the Weary: A Pre-Lenten Retreat at Hilltop Renewal Center

O GOD of peace, who hast taught us that in returning and rest we shall be saved, in quietness and in confidence shall be our strength; By the might of thy Spirit lift us, we pray thee, to thy presence, where we may be still and know that thou art God; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

This past weekend Clint and I went on a Pre-Lenten spiritual retreat to Idyllwild, where we stayed at a beautiful cabin called Hilltop Renewal Center.  According to their website http://hilltoprenewalcenter.org/, the renewal center beckons “the weary for a rest, the reader a quiet spot among nature, and the one seeking prayer a place to converse with God in His beauty,” and that was no false advertising! 

Groundhog Day: Living for What Truly Matters

Phil: What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?
Ralph: That about sums it up for me.

You are probably familiar with the storyline, but let me recap it for you:  Phil, an arrogant weatherman, travels to a small town to do a feature on the groundhog’s shadow, gets stuck in the town for the night due to a blizzard that he failed to predict, and goes to bed, only to discover that when he awakens in the morning, it is once again February 2^nd.  He is made to relive the same day over and over again, giving him the torture, the license, and finally the freedom to live life however he pleases with no repercussions to follow in the future.  He is arrested, attempts to seduce his producer, Rita, and even tries to kill himself on multiple occasions, but no matter what he does during the day, he once again awakens to his alarm on February 2^nd. 

After having pursued selfish pleasures that failed to satisfy, Phil gradually begins to seek to help those in the small town, especially a homeless man, and in the process discovers that he has fallen in love with Rita. He lives with charity and kindness for those around him.  In the end Rita falls in love with him too, and he awakens to the joy of his alarm on February 3^rd.

Clint and I have been discussing showing the movie to his high school Bible classes to lay the framework for the year, posing the questions: “What is virtue?” and “What is happiness?”  We see in Groundhog Day that Phil discovers the meaninglessness and futility of pursuing his selfish passions.  He can have whatever he wants and do anything, regardless of the law, but he does not find true satisfaction in any of these pursuits.  It is only when he puts the needs and desires of others above his own, that he finds true happiness and a way of escape from the endless repetition of February 2^nd.

Though you have not been forced to relive the same day over and over again, but perhaps every day seems to blend into the next.  Perhaps you feel without purpose or direction.  Perhaps it all seems pointless and monotonous, an unending journey to nowhere.  Or maybe it is not that extreme, but you feel stuck or you are just plain tired.  This film pushes the viewer to consider what truly matters in life.  For what are you living?  Why do you get up every morning?  Are you rolling out of bed simply desiring to fulfill your own pleasures and get your way, or do you rise seeking to love others, pursue the truth, and delight in beauty? 

I think most of us would reply with the latter when the choices are so clearly stated, but what about the little things of life?  What about in the daily grind when you must decide between relaxing for a few more minutes in front of the tv or spending time in prayer?  What about giving a half-hearted effort on that project you have been putting off or devoting all your time and talent to its completion?  What about simply sitting in the pew at church or getting up an hour early and volunteering to serve in the children’s ministry?

Life is composed of these little decisions, the seemingly harmless laziness or the snide remark made under your breath.  It is of these seemingly harmless choices our habits are formed.  How we spend our minutes and hours each day, and what we prioritize will come to define us in the end.

May we choose to pursue virtue and true happiness in the everyday things of life.  May the Lord give us grace each morning that we might honor His name and serve Him faithfully.

"Beep, Beep!"

The last two weeks I have been working on a side project at work for an upcoming staff meeting in which all my co-workers were asked, among other things, “Who was your favorite cartoon character as a child?”  It has been fun to read the results, and has led me to ponder what it is about these characters that make children drawn to them. 

My favorite character as a child was The Road Runner.  I liked him predominantly for his speed (I ran track in elementary school), as well as his intelligence, his pretty purple feathers, and that classic “Beep, Beep!”  No matter how hard Wile E. Coyote tried every day to dupe the bird with wild contraptions and complex plans, with but a little common sense and speed (okay and inconsistent rules of the cartoon universe), Road Runner was always successful at escaping, leaving Wile E. to experience the pain of the trap himself.

In our evening Bible readings over the past few days, Clint and I have been contemplating the story of Esther, the beautiful Jewess who first wins the king’s hand in marriage and then saves her people from destruction.  Her greatest qualities perhaps were her beauty, her courage, and her humility.  She obediently followed the advice of her uncle, Mordecai, and was willing to lose her life in an effort to save her people.  Perhaps the most famously quoted verse in the book is: “For such a time as this,” referring to the Providential appointment of Esther as queen in order to rescue the Jewish nation. 

As the story unwinds, Haman, a high ranking official, parades through the city and is sorely offended when Mordecai refuses to bow to him, stating that he bows to God alone.  After complex schemes and shady dealings, Haman is invited to an exclusive feast with the king and queen.  Overjoyed with the VIP treatment, Haman decides to make his move.  In the end, however, Haman who had been planning revenge on Mordecai, ends up, similarly to Wile E., with a death sentence, hanging from the very gallows he meant for Mordecai.  And we discover in the following chapter that his 10 sons have the same fate, while the Jewish people are saved.

What an inspiration Esther is of a woman who bravely faces her calling and steps into the role that God has given her to play!  Being named the most beautiful and desirable woman in the land does not go to her head.  Rather, Esther humbly submits to Mordecai and continues to identify with and protect her people.  Oh to have the courage to step into the court of the king, facing certain death, and instead to find life and joy.  The God of Israel protects her and in turn protects her entire nation through her.

May we too be found faithful in the calling that God has placed on our lives and may we walk with courage into the unknown.

Reflection:  Based on their cartoon character choices, others in the office appear to admire a good sense of humor, bravery, the defense of the innocent, as well as general cuteness.  Who was your favorite cartoon character and what did you admire about him or her?

Hello world! My name is Mrs. Perry and I’m delighted to meet you!

Hello world!  My name is Mrs. Perry and I’m delighted to meet you!  Of course, if you ask the federal government it is not exactly official yet (that’s a whole different animal), but for all intents and purposes, I am now Mrs. Victoria Perry. *Pure bliss!!*

What a joy it is to be his bride, his beloved, the apple of his eye!  Now if you are a faithful reader, you know that wedding planning has certainly been stressful and overwhelming at times, but I can honestly say that our wedding was fabulous!  It is crazy how you can sweat all the small stuff along the way, even an hour before the ceremony, but the minute they opened the doors of the church and I saw Clint at the end of the aisle waiting for me, all of my worries about logistics simply melted away.  The time had finally come to be united with my love in the sacrament of marriage and I simply could not stop smiling!  He looked so dashing in his tuxedo and the pure joy in his face, not sure if he should smile or cry, was the very best expression of love that I had ever seen.  As I told him, I kept telling myself to walk slowly, but in my heart, I was running down the aisle to him.

Clint and I thoroughly enjoyed the wedding festivities (bachelor and bachelorette parties were amazing, rehearsal dinner was a relaxing and intimate time, the wedding ceremony was beautiful and sacred, the reception was the height of joyous celebration with those we love, and the honeymoon, staying for a week in a little cabin in Big Sur and exploring the surrounding areas of Monterey and Carmel, proved to be both a refreshing getaway and a thrilling adventure.  With all these major events behind us, memories to last a lifetime, and beautiful pictures being uploaded which captured our joy, I must say, that it is nice to be finally settling into our first place: opening wedding gifts, unloading boxes, assembling furniture, arranging pictures, cooking dinners together, and just being newly weds.

We would like to extend a heartfelt thank you to all of you who have supported us through this journey to the altar (personalized thank you notes will come eventually, I promise), and ask that you please continue to lift us up in prayer, as we discover what it truly means to be one.  As all married couples realize, it is quite a paradigm shift to move from independence to considering your spouse’s needs and desires above your own, to see possessions as not mine or yours, but ours, and to create a loving atmosphere of open, honest, uplifting, and God-honoring communication.

Now a little message to all of my friends who are brides to be: hang in there.  Enjoy the little joys along the journey!  You only have one wedding, so delight!  Take a break once in a while and just enjoy being with your love.  The planning will end and life will eventually settle down and then you’ll be married!!  Trust your family and friends and lean on them for support.  They are genuinely excited for you and want to help in anyway that they can.  Stop to consider the great gift of love that God has mercifully given to you both, and rejoice in His abundant provision!  Stare into the eyes of your beloved and feel the smile begin to form on your lips!

As many have reminded me, the wedding is only the beginning – the marriage is where the true adventure begins.  So here’s to our new adventure as the Perrys!  We’re excited to share the journey with you!!

One Bended Knee: Combating 'Mad Dash' Syndrome

“Tomorrow I plan to work, work, from early until late.  In fact I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer.”

                                    ~Martin Luther

It’s Monday morning and I am cutting it close again.  Grabbing my purse off the counter, I dump some Honey Bunches of Oats into a coffee mug and pour chocolate soy milk on top, then snatch a spoon from the drying rack and run out the door.  As I drive down Imperial Highway, I pause at each stoplight to munch on my cereal, while trying to precariously balance a bouquet of sunflowers on my lap.  I glance longingly at the picture of a latte on the Starbucks sign as I pass, then suddenly slam on my breaks as the light turns yellow.  Startled, I cautiously drive the last couple of blocks, and pull into the parking lot of my office building.  Turning off the engine I glance at the dashboard – 7:52 A.M.  ‘Late again,’ I sigh to myself.  I pull out my Book of Common Prayer and flip to the Psalms, pausing five minutes to read a couple before jumping out of the car and charging off to the time clock to swipe my badge by 8:00. 

Even with all that is going on I always seem to pull it together and make it to work on time, which is essential, but my goal is always to arrive in the parking lot around 7:40, so that I will have 20 minutes for prayer before I start work.  Unfortunately, this chaotic scene of my juggling act and mad dash to the office has been happening too frequently of late.  I could blame it on too little sleep, quite a bit of stress, so very much change… Yet why is it so easy for me to be disciplined in my punctuality to work, but then to struggle so much with finding time to pray?  Why is it that in the times when I need more prayer, I seem to make less time for it?

In church yesterday, Fr. Scarlett reminded us that one of the ways we display our faith in Jesus is through consistent prayer.  I am generally good at prioritizing in order to accomplish my goals, but I am afraid that becoming a consistent and habitual prayer warrior has not been on the top of my list.  As I continue to reflect on the importance of prayer, I am realizing that although it seems logical that I will have less time for everything else if I set aside time to pray, I am finding that the opposite is in fact true.  Prayer realigns my focus on what really matters.  It deepens my trust in God to provide for all my needs, and lifts my spirits.  Just a few minutes in prayer can radically reshape the course of a day, a week, and ultimately a life.

Rather than a vague “I want to make prayer a priority this week”, I need to literally carve out time for prayer.  Like everything else that I want to get done, at least for now, I need to put it on the calendar.  I need to whisper my prayers for strength throughout the day, taking every thought captive, and then set aside some extended time to spend with Him.  I have heard it said that it is impossible to have a relationship with someone if you never spend time with them. I certainly know this to be true, so instead of thinking about it as “making prayer a priority”, I need to think about it as “making God a priority”.  Now that certainly sounds essential!

Reflection:  How do you make God, specifically through time in prayer, a priority in your life?

On Bended Knee: Unshaken

“I spit out the blood and dust that coats my mouth, but I can’t spit out the fear.  Buried beneath six stories of rubble, the remains of what was once the Hotel Montana, I’m hanging on to the realization that I live through an earthquake.  I survived!  But, I also know that if I want to make it out of this black tomb alive, if I ever hope to see my family again, it will take a miracle – a series of miracles.

Miracles I’m not sure I  have the faith to believe in.”

                ~Dan Woolley’s Unshaken

I recently finished a book entitled Unshaken by Dan Woolley, a Compassion International photo-journalist, who was buried under the Hotel Montana during the Haitian earthquake in Port-au-Prince last January.  He writes about his fight for survival in an elevator shaft, but what I found most compelling, was his crisis of belief, his struggle to maintain his faith in the goodness of God while in the very depths.  His instincts and memory of a survival tv show provided the material needed to keep himself alive, but it was the battle for hope, the war to control his thoughts and to turn to the Lord in his pain and anxiety.

In crafting his book, Dan parallels his earthquake experience with a recounting of his wife’s struggle with depression, and I found that the two stories interweave beautifully to display the saving power of God and His divine intervention in both situations.  The Woolley’s have seen the Lord’s faithfulness through the most difficult challenges and the darkest times of his life.  Dan and his wife Christy have experienced a renewed passion for Christ and for one another, and it has radically reshaped their lives, and they want to share their story

I found that the book was able to capture my imagination, and my emotions for that matter.  Every time I put it down I kept wondering how he would ever be rescued and how his wife could emerge from such emotional despair.  I simply could not imagine the ceiling caving in on me and being trapped for 2 ½ days with little hope of rescue, nor could I imagine receiving news of my love being missing after a massive disaster, not knowing whether he was dead or alive.

In the depths of their despair Dan and Christy called out to the Lord, sharing their feelings and not seeking to deny or hide their sorrow, pain, or anger.  They turned to the Lord in their hurt and He spoke to them.  Too often we turn away from God when painful circumstances take us by surprise.  Too often we blame God, but are unwilling to listen to His response.  Too often we strive to do all that we can to remedy the situation on our own before approaching our Almighty Father.  In short, too often we fail to pray.

Whether facing our greatest difficulties or the challenges of daily life, the Lord encourages us to pray, to come to Him as we are and to seek His forgiveness, His comfort, and His love.  Why do we so often neglect our Maker, the Source of our very being and the Giver of life, thinking that we just don’t have time or that we can handle it on our own?  Why are we overwhelmed with stress and the pressures of this life?  Why do we live as people with no hope?  Instead, as the author of Hebrews urges: “Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace in time of need.”

Yes, let us be people of faith amidst the darkness – let us be people of prayer.

Two Months and Counting...

Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honor to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready.  And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints.  And he saith unto me, Write, Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb.

                                                ~Revelation 19:7-9

Wedding planning is insane.  That is pretty much the long and the short of it.  Do not believe anyone if they tell you that it was a breeze.  Every wife with whom I have chatted of late has deeply resonated with this sentiment.  It is such a challenge since Clint and I so very much want our wedding to be a special day, yet we do not want to be in debt for life because of it.  Furthermore, I have never been pressured to be so opinionated in my life!  From the type of cuff links on the tuxedos to the colors of the napkins, a decision must be made, and my preference or whim soon becomes reality.  I must admit that it is empowering in a way, but also rather exhausting!

This journey to the altar is certainly proving to be a test of our faith, hope, and love both in God and in each other.  It is so easy to stress and panic when plans are not progressing as desired, or when you discover a typo on the freshly printed invitations, not that I did that or anything...  It is easy to doubt that God will provide when seeking to create a budget and wondering how to have hope for a future with mounting expenses.  It is easy to question the depth of our love and to wonder if this “being in love” is all just a fantasy anyway.

Getting married is serious business.  Las Vegas may advertize drive-thru weddings, but planning the details of the wedding is simply the tip of the preparations iceberg.  Not only are you seeking to create the biggest and most beautiful event of your life, and house hunting for the first time, and seeking to combine two similar, but very different people, but you are preparing physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially, and in every other conceivable way for a lifelong marriage – 2 becoming 1 flesh.  Talk about a dramatic transformation!

As Clint keeps reminding me, planning for our big day should not be a stressful burden.  Instead, our wedding is meant to be a joyous celebration with friends and family of our love and of our gracious Lord.  With each check mark on the task list, I am slowly learning to trust God, that He is good and that He will provide for Clint and me.  New jobs have come when least expected, friends have volunteered to help in their areas of talent, and we found our perfect little studio.  Throughout all of it, more than anyone, Clint has consistently encouraged me and redirected me from fear and worry to trust and faith.  When the outlook is the bleakest and we have just received disheartening news, he is quick to rebuke my lack of faith, to pray for us, and to gently lead me to our Shepherd. 

July 16th is now less than two months away…We truly hope that our wedding will be a beautiful celebration for all in attendance, filled with special moments and precious memories for years to come, because at the end of the day, the wedding is really about the beginning of the marriage—a glorious glimpse of Christ’s love for the Church and the joyous delight at the Wedding Feast of the Lamb!

"Perry"

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet.”

Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

I have been thinking about names quite a bit of late.  You see, on July 16^th I will ever after be called “Victoria Perry”.  Perhaps it sounds a bit dramatic, but I have been “Victoria Wade” my entire life.  I always liked the sound of my name, and the way the “W” flowed from my pen when signing an official document.  I thought it sounded so regal, and I could not imagine wanting to change it.  I am the historian in the family, after all, and was always interested in our genealogy.  By taking another’s name, I am in effect abandoning my heritage.  For anyone, but my dear Clint, I could not imagine doing so.

Well, I am a researcher, so I naturally desired to see what I could find in the wonderful world of the internet.  Google “Perry” and you will find all sorts of ponderings on its origin and meaning.  Here is a sampling:

Welsh shortening of “ap Herry” or “son of Harry or Henry”.

Middle English “perrie” denoting a dweller by the pear-tree.

Norman French “perrieur” referring to a quarryman.

Latin from the word “peregrine” meaning “wanderer/ traveler” or “foreigner/ stranger”.

Now I think the Welsh hypothesis seems the most likely, as it would fall into line with the “Anderson”, “Swanson”, and “Johnson” pattern, although, I suppose there are a “Cook”, “Baker”, and “Weaver” among us today, if in name only.  However, I find the Latin proposition is perhaps the most intriguing.  What does it mean to be defined as a “wanderer or traveler”, a “foreigner or stranger”?  The first translation seems to imply movement, either haphazardly or in a particular direction.  The latter focuses more on the “otherness”.

I am reminded of Hebrews 11:13-16:

“These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth…But now they desire a better country, that is an heavenly: wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God: for he hath prepared for them a city.”

Much of life seems to be composed of wandering.  There is so much uncertainty in our future, so much to look forward to its fruition, but this leads to some concern and fear in the short-term.  Suffice it to say that waiting is never easy.  Unfortunately, this unknown does not appear to have an end after the wedding.  Instead, I am coming to learn that waiting and the unknown are a part of life.  I always seem to be waiting for something or other--waiting for the right guy to come along, waiting for my car to be fixed, waiting for the debt to be paid off, waiting for…Once I reach resolution on one front, I discover uncertainty encroaching from the rear.  Nevertheless, I am seeking to find rest and contentment amidst the grey, to find joy each day in the journey. 

What a tragedy it would be to jump in the car to travel across the country to move to the East Coast, for example, and fail to recognize the beautiful landscape, blindly pressing forward, complaining about the distance still to go, and simply praying that the car will not breakdown along the way!  What a waste!  Instead, I seek to notice the little beauties around me, from the lovely arranging of strawberry slices on my salad to the sweet good night text from my fiancé.

It is my hope to capture some of that beauty in this humble blog, to contemplate the truth, and to seek to do good.  Will you join me on the journey? 

Reflection - In what way, large or small, have you observed beauty in your life recently?